Is this My Generation?

The two most impactful events of my youth were my Bar Mitzvah and earning my U.S. Air Force wings.  My Bar Mitzvah because it was the first time “I proved to myself” that I could accomplish something I thought was impossible and because of the deep connection it created between me and the generations of Jews who came before me. 

My Rabbi forced us to debate the meaning of my Torah and Haftorah portions as if we were Talmudic scholars.  He looked me in the eyes and told me, over and over again, that “memorizing and regurgitating is meaningless… the sole purpose for studying and debating Torah is to find meaning.  This search for the “essential truth” of my Bar Mitzvah portions taught me: how to respectfully present an argument; how to genuinely see the world through another’s eyes; and -- most of all -- that the sages of the Talmud were right when, time after time, they asserted that the disagreement of others is essential for testing our own thoughts.  Or in Rabbi Friedman’s words, “Without disagreement, there is no search for truth.”

Flash forward to today and I do not recognize either the country I spent my adult life serving or my American Jewish Community.  Both America and American Jews have become brutally polarized, bitter and intolerant.  We have become so preoccupied with “pointing fingers” that we have lost both our ability and our desire to “look in the mirror.”  We bemoan not being heard while refusing to listen to others.  We blame others without admitting fault… and, worst of all, we demonize those who commit the sin of disagreeing with us.

Blacklisting friends and family for “voting sins” is an utterly complete betrayal of Judaism and sadly, I have a front row seat… While politically fractured friendships surround us all, I have dear friends who have not spoken to or been allowed to see their grandchildren since the 2024 election... They have been excommunicated from their family for 20 months because of who they voted for.

American Jewish leadership is standing idly by watching the roots of our traditions being yanked out one person at a time.  We all see this destruction from within and we all hear the deathly silence from our leaders. 

Where are the strongly worded sermons on the 5^th Commandment (Honor your father and your mother)?  Where are the strongly worded sermons on Leviticus 19:18 (Bear no grudge against the members of your people.)?  Where are the strongly worded sermons calling out those among us who have chosen to put politics above all else and who have chosen to worship either the Golden Donkey or the Golden Elephant?   Our spiritual leaders know that Party purity and moral clarity/consistency are mutually exclusive… Yet they say nothing.  Democrats only calling out corruption on the right and remaining silent about corruption on the left is meaningless and hypocritical.  Republicans only calling out corruption on the left while remaining mum about corruption on the right is an equally crass double standard.  Neither side is against corruption… they just use it for political gain while they bide their time waiting for their side’s turn to feed at the trough.  

This embracing of situational ethics and crassly overt double standards is an attack from within on both our Jewish spiritual and intellectual cores… with just a dash of violating the 1^st Commandment thrown in for good measure… Afterall, once we have claimed to have the wisdom and have exercised the authority to brand others apostate, are we not g-ds in our own minds?

Rather than wielding Proverbs 16:18 as a protective shield, my generation has wrapped ourselves in it … proudly wearing the Proverb’s Pride like a wedding dress.  We are too proud to admit we don’t know all the answers.  We are too proud to admit some of “what we believe” is wrong.    We are too proud to admit that some of our opponents have insights, experiences and perspectives we don’t have.  And, we are too proud and too insecure to meaningfully, respectfully and publicly debate opponents… We have forgotten the lessons of our Talmudic scholars and - deep down inside - we fear the Emperor’s New Clothes will be revealed if we risk testing our ideas against another’s.

Left, Right or Center… Jews have a long and colorful history which teaches every generation the same message… Do NOT fool yourselves into believing you are superior to those you disagree with… even now when it is about matters pertaining to donkeys and elephants. 

Our rapidly growing political extremes are eating their intellectual young alive and have deluded them into believing “A debate avoided is a debate won” when in reality “Every debate avoided is a truth lost.”

If you don’t believe me, ask our ancestors.  

Debate sharpens… The absence dulls…

Debate is the path to truth… The absence is the road to ignorance and prejudice.

Vigorous Public Debate has been the recorded lifeblood of Jewish existence for millennia.  Talmudic debate has inspired Jewish thought and open mindedness for two thousand years and -- this Jewish intellectual jousting -- has been much more than just tolerated… it was vigorously sought after, encouraged at every opportunity, cheered, admired, lovingly documented, cherished and, until my generation, the willingness to debate was considered an immutable aspect of the Yiddishe Kopf.

Century after century, “argument for the sake of heaven” or “debate for the sake of truth instead of victory” (Mishnah, Avot & Meiri) -- was joyfully translated at every family gathering into “Jews and arguing go together like Passover and matzah.” Part of the Jewish soul USED TO BE the freedom (if not the obligation) to argue any issue, at any time, from any perspective…

Sitting around the dinner table, it was nothing short of a Jewish imperative that we zestfully engage in no-holds barred debate on any and every issue where we had the slightest hint of disagreement. 

The goal was never to win. 

The goal was never to vanquish.

The goal was never to subjugate or intimidate. 

Through the ages, the goal of Jewish debate was to test our own ideas by plunging them into the crucible of open challenge, having the weaknesses of our own arguments exposed like dross and finally strengthened in the same way that steel is hardened… by heating to a red glow and quenching. 

Sometimes we left holding our own beliefs all the stronger.  Sometimes we left shrugging our shoulders and wondering how we could have been so wrong for so long.  And, sometimes, we left with just a seed of doubt that sometime later germinated and grew into an entirely new perspective.  This seed of doubt was the best possible outcome… It meant the thoughts of others and the quest for truth were abiding gifts from the time spent intellectually sparring with Jewish friends and family.  

Regardless of the outcome, we were richer for the experience… At the very least, we understood each other’s perspective well enough to knowledgeably argue the issue from each other’s perspective.

Deepening personal bonds through vigorous debate is exactly what Jews and Jewish Scholars have done for centuries.  Rabbi Eliezer loved and cherished his student and primary debate opponent Rabbi Akiva.  Rabbi Yachanan could not find the truth within the law without Reish Lakish’s rigorous -- often relentless -- opposition and, after Lakish’s death, Rabbi Yachanan exclaimed “it is impossible to find truth surrounded by people who agree with everything I say.”  Debate in the uncompromising search of truth has bound our people tightly together through diasporas, pogroms and holocausts for millennia.  I fear we will not survive the close-minded regimental thinking of political idolatry.

Now, look at our community… What do you see?  Do you see families and friendships destroyed by the growing number of us that put political loyalty over all other loyalties?  Do you see “group think” smothering individualism?  Do you see large social/political groups where everyone in the group publicly supports identical bundles of policies and the slightest dissent is met with demonization?  Do you see people being ostracized for committing the sin of “listening to the other side?” Do you see the litmus tests and virtue signaling replacing active engagement, debate and earnest disagreement?

If the heart of Jewish wisdom really is an unquenchable thirst for truth accompanied by acknowledging that truth can only be found by inviting what we believe to be tested and challenged, it is time to either admit that my generation has given up on the “Pursuit of Truth” or for all of us to start seriously and publicly “arguing for the sake of heaven.”  In this regard, I propose we start on four fronts: 

1.      Rabbi’s begin visiting each other’s congregations to participate in open debates on spiritual issues. Our clergy are ideally suited to be role models for cordial, meaningful debate that deepens friendships and brings communities together.   

2.      Publications like the Jewish Journal sponsor policy-based debates regarding the Middle East featuring participants who have demonstrated their ability to factually and respectfully disagree. 

3.      Jewish institutions like the Skirball Center host fact-based debates about how serious the rising tide of anti-Semitism in the U.S. is and what needs to be done featuring participants who have demonstrated their ability to factually and respectfully disagree.

4.      University Jewish organization take on the issue of BDS head on by sponsoring a series of multi-phase debates initially focusing on the merits of BDS as a tool for dealing with human rights issues and progressing to discussions narrowly focused on ranking the world’s worst human rights offenders.     

 There is no shame in disagreement.  There is only shame in lacking the courage to publicly do so.

Which brings me to why earning my Air Force Wings was the second most important event in my youth.  It was through losing far too many friends on active duty that I learned the most important lesson of my life about freedom… They “didn’t die for people they agreed with….”  They all freely gave their lives to “protect our right to disagree…” Values beloved by Talmudic scholars and roundly rejected by my generation of American Jews.

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